Tuesday, October 14, 2008

3 weeks with empty arms

Today is the 3 weeks anniversary since I lost my two sweet babies. I am having quite a hard day today, with my emotions all over the place. I am missing them really bad today, my heart aches. I can't believe it has been so long already, the pain feels like it was yesterday. I can still remember the feeling of holding them in my arms and close to my heart. They took my heart and soul with them when they left me. Sometimes I don't know how I will be able to ever go on fully in my life knowing they won't be with me. I had so many hopes and dreams for them that will never be. Dreams that have been shattered and will never be repaired. I am getting my hair colored today, the first time since before I was pregnant. It is a big step for me to do something that I wasn't going to do until they were born, but this day has come sooner than I ever thought it would. Everything I did or didn't do was for them, and now doing the things I didn't do is difficult like getting my hair done or even eating foods I avoided while pregnant. I miss them soooooo much, each day brings new ups and downs, more downs than ups.

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