Its been awhile since I wrote on here. I haven't really known what to say, but I have lots to say. I know that doesn't make sense but things are very messed up with my head with all my anxiety and emotions right now.
My pregnancy is going well. Every 2 weeks I see my high risk OB, baby and my body are doing well. Next appt is May 4th, and we will hopefully find out the sex of the baby. I am now 15 1/2 weeks and feeling good. I know my anxiety level is starting to rise. I feel the fear mounting inside as I approach the later weeks of the teens and the early 20's. I lost Brielle and Natalie at 22w5d and I know those times during this pregnancy will be extremely hard for me. A few nights ago I had a bad dream. My dream was about my cervix doing the samething as last time, but we caught it earlier. I woke up and was unable to fall asleep again for a while. Even as I write this, thinking of it all makes me worried. I know the doctors are watching me closely but what happens if they don't catch something in time? I don't know if I could go through another loss, what will it do to me?
I have been taking it easy at work and at home. My husband is so good, helping with everything around the house and being so understanding. I love him so much, I hope he knows. The people at work have also been really good. They look out for me, and I appreciate it from my heart. I am fortunate to work with people who care about me and my baby.
I promise to update more often.