New Hope

Well yesterday was my first appt with my regular OB doctor. My husband and I were very nervous, expecting to hear the worst. I couldn't believe my ears when he said he wasn't considering me high risk. WOW. I even double checked with him, by asking many questions starting with "even though this and this happened"? He reassured us that since my last pregnancy was twins, and with other events it was completely different then the last time. He expressed the new hope, of this being a good pregnancy and I will make it to term and deliver a healthy alive baby. I felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders, but a few pounds are there and always will be until I can hold my baby in my arms. October can't come fast enough. I have choosen to see my specialist around 12 weeks to discuss with them what they think. I want peace of mind, with every thing I can. If they tell me the samething I will be even more optimistic. I am going to have measurements of my cervix regularly to make sure everything is okay. All the Dr's seem to think I didn't have any incompetent cervix but I just want to keep an eye on things to ease my mind. We are more optimistic now then before but still in the back of my mind I can't help wonder if this will really happen for us.

My New Miracle

Sorry it took so long to update my blog. I have been tired, tired, and tired. This pregnancy is taking everything out of me. I wasn't this tired during my last one, but each pregnancy is different.

Well we went to our appointment on Wed and it was great. The anticipation leading up to the ultrasound was intense but once we had it done everything was wonderful. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. There is one beautiful baby, with a great sounding strong heartbeat. We are so very happy to be only having one baby even though part of us feel like twins is such a special event. That special event will be forever for our Brielle and Natalie. Having a single baby will give us the best hope for carrying this pregnancy to term or as close as possible to it. The official due date is Oct 12, 2009. It seems so far away. The time right now is going so slowing. Even though tomorrow I will be 7 weeks I wish it could go faster. I want to be out of the first trimester, but then I will also know the second trimester will be even more stressful then the first one. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in Oct with a healthy alive baby in my arms. I dream already of the day to say hello to my baby, boy or girl, hoping it will be a day leading to many more days to be together.

Anticipation

Anticipation is growing in me as the days go by. Each day we get closer to WED the day of our first ultrasound I find myself getting more and more nervous. My husband and I were talking the other day and it is funny how we are both anxious for different reasons. I find myself praying there is a heartbeat. It will be devastating to me to not see a heartbeat, to have to lose this baby so early after I have begun to bond already, something I told myself I wouldn't do but I can't help myself. My husband is anxious about how many babies we will see. He thinks there will be a heartbeat but how many? I believe this time we will have one baby. I am counting down the days till we go. I know my nerves will be all over the place as we wait in the waiting room. Excitement, nervousness, scared and worried of the unknown. Mixture of feeling and emotions as we wait for the first moment to meet our new baby to hopefully join our lives on earth.

Beta's

Monday was the first day for my blood work to confirm my pregnancy. The results came back at 356. I think it is a little high, my last pregnancy it was 419 at the same time line. So I am hoping it is only a singleton, but will deal with whatever happens. Today was my second test result and it was 660. SOOOOO everything so far is looking great. I now have to wait until Tuesday next week to do one more blood test and then we will be scheduling my ultrasound. I can't wait to see the heartbeat. I remember last time what a wonderful feeling it was to see and hear my babies heartbeats. This should be in 2 weeks. I can't wait to meet my baby.

So far I don't have many symptoms, except being tired all the time. Pregnancy in the first trimester sure takes the wind out of your sails, finding energy is hard. I would love to sleep all the time. I am not taking the few symptoms for granted since last time at exactly 6 weeks the morning sickness kicked in. I hope I don't get it this time, but will be happy to have whatever I get, I am just so happy to be pregnant again. Today I am 4weeks, and 2 days. The time seems to be going slowly. It is so early but I am trying so hard to be positive and not dwell on all the bad things that can happen. I am scared but also excited.

UPDATE!!!!!!

Well I guess many of you are wondering what has been going on with me. My gut feeling this month didn't work, that I wasn't pregnant. Well to my surprise, I AM PREGNANT! I couldn't believe my eyes. I was thinking it was wrong, it was still my trigger shot in my system giving me a false positive. So I took test after test, each day and I am now finally convinced it is for real. I have taken 6 tests in total. I can't believe it happened so fast on the first try this time. I am soooo very excited, but cautiously excited and optimistic. Tomorrow (Monday) I will be calling my doctor to get some blood work done over the next few days to make sure my hormone levels are rising properly. Then in a few weeks I will have my ultrasound to hopefully see a heartbeat. Keep you fingers and toes crossed for me.

For those who I work with and are reading this, I ask you to please keep this news to yourself. I want to make sure everything is fine before I tell others. Only a few close people who read this will know. I appreciate you discretion.

Pregnancy Test!